We The Chest Thumping Feminists
I read an inspiring post by a very good friend in facebook. As good a post it was, it was also something I couldn’t get over. She mentioned about how she isn’t a “chest thumping feminist.” I have known her from couple of months and I know she is a feminist. A feminist who believes that women should have the same political, social, and economic rights as men. But I couldn’t help but wonder why she said this. When another friend asked her what she means by ‘chest thumping feminist,’ her reply was: “Chest thumping feminism distances rational people, even if there is a point.” I was wondering how can people be rational if they don’t get what feminism is? And why rational people will distance themselves from the “chest-thumping feminists” who have valid points to communicate? But most importantly what bothered me is why can’t one take pride in her identity of being feminist, even if it is a “chest thumping” one? I always identify myself as a Daughter, Sister, Friend and Feminist in all my social media handles. Though I am married, I dint want to forget my responsibilities towards my very first relationships and feel proud of my identity of a daughter more than being a wife.
I also identify myself as a feminist because I belives in equality of opportunities for all. I do care about the rights of my father and brothers too. I had read bio of several women leaders who feel proud to declare themselves as proud mothers, aunts etc. Then why declaring oneself as feminist is chest thumping and others not? Why to be silent and reject one’s own identity? Just to be validated in the eyes of self-declared rational people? Then definitely either of them isn’t feminist or rational.
Democracy Express - The beginning ( A 10days cohort started by I.S.D.with intention of redefining principled leadership in Indian politics. Refer: www.indianschoolofdemocracy.or)
Why am I writing all these, when I had to write my experiences of democracy express? My experience of being a woman or a feminist is almost similar everywhere I go. It is filled with hope, sadness, moments of anger and grit, hopelessness and helplessness, fear of rejection, character assassination if bold enough to say what matters, some strength to move ahead, a ray of hope to do something new, creating a new possibility, taking a baby step towards that possibility and a whole range of emotions to deal with.
The voyage of Democracy Express was no different. When I applied for it, I knew it’s not going to be easy. I don’t consider myself as an “intellectual being”, my academics prove it (Yes I belong to a generation which said scoring good marks is being an intellectual person), have been an average scorer. I also take time to understand things. My mind doesn’t act in the moment, it starts throwing questions about the topic after a few hours, even after days.
Physical roadblocks
My challenge was even more basic like surviving in a bus journey. I hardly travelled in my childhood as I have motion sickness. When I stayed in a hostel during my diploma, I visited home only during long vacations. Bus journey restricted my willingness to travel. Even today, I prefer to travel by train or auto rickshaw, but not by taxi or bus. So the completion of this journey is the biggest achievement at a personal level. It had broken many barriers including fear in my mind about bus journeys.
Another physical challenge that I always conscious about my monthly cycle. I plan my travel as per my periods. And my periods have been irregular too. And I had to finalise these two months before, so there was no way knowing if my periods will come or not during these ten days. But I still kept up with this plan. To ease my periods, I take at least two days off from work if I get period on working days. I don’t move. Mine is a painful one with body cramps and heavy bleeding.
I was very happy that I didn’t get periods and was delayed by a week. But no, it came on the 9th day. Next day, we were supposed to walk from our venue to Sabarmati Ashram which was approximately 3 kms. I requested to Hemakshi (our mentor and co-founder of Indian School of Democracy) to take an autorickshaw. She agreed. When I was waiting on the road to book the auto, I decided to take a chance to walk a few meters and then take an auto. And I could walk all the way to reach Ashram, I was new to the city. Google map was my co-passenger in the journey. It was really liberating. I also had high fever one night and vomited throughout the night. But I still attended all the sessions. This cohort made me aware about my strength (both mental and physical), overcoming barriers, going beyond my prejudices over certain ideologies and listening to opposite thought processes, genuinely making an effort to accept those.
Birth of the political thought:
My interest in politics started when I was working with children of construction migrant workers through one of our CSR interventions. Everyday was a challenge in our site school while dealing with these kids, we didn’t know if they will be there the next day in the school or not. The people who build our dream homes, live in temporary sheds, it cant get more apathetic than this. They build school buildings for our children and their children remain out of school as they keep changing their sites very frequently. There was no way for us to track these kids. Even we could manage few children to send regular schools, they won’t be found there after one month. It was extremely demotivating for all of us. But I soon understood such issues can’t be tackled from bottom-up approach, it has to be aligned with top-down approach by working with policy makers not just in education but also from labour department, real estate agencies, city planners and social justice ministry. So political intervention is a must to end child labour and school drop out issues due to migration.
My belief soon turned to conviction, when I started reading about Delhi government’s intervention in its public schooling system. About 25% budget in education is a new thing in Indian politics. I could see, hear and relate politics differently, in positively. Till then, I had always used the word ‘politics’ in a negative context, more associated with the meaning of backstabbing, cheating and manipulation. So I started watching the news of politics with an interest in the search of empowering myself.
But then, if I had to start thinking of politics being part of my life, personal life (while I am aware that being apolitical is just a myth, still I never wanted to confront and accept that politics directly impacts my personal life), it is after my marriage and particularly after my mother’s death that I became more mindful of my political side. The struggle that I had to go through to just support my father financially and being there with him when he needs me was overwhelming.
I started questioning about the idea of existence of women like me. If this can be a struggle and fight, I won’t consider myself as a free human being in the largest democratic country. It might sound silly for many. But, for me it is a real and very challenging one. I traveled, read, met and spoke to women and men regarding this issue. There are many who laughed at me, avoided me answering this, and many women shared similar stories of struggles too. I wanted to know why only women face such challenges. It is a basic human right. And we are denied.
My experiments with politics began. I knew that any amount of campaigning, petitioning and fighting would come to stand still if there aren’t women in the highest decision-making positions. Though women are almost half the population, yet the decisions are being taken without consulting us, without representing us and these decisions being thrown to us which is absolutely not acceptable.
If there aren’t role models in the highest authority, the struggles of women will be normalised. Everyday we hear children being raped, we don’t consider eve teasing, groping in public transportation as big issues. As a society, we have become so numb and indifferent. Women are not allowed meeting parents after marriage is not even an issue for the society. We don’t have a choice then to ignore and move on.
Equality and harmony:
I wanted to know if there is equal representation of women in politics, police, judiciary; can there be harmony in our family, office and communities. I still don’t have an answer. But my instinct says yes, we can live a more peaceful and harmonious life when enough and required number of women are leading these institutions that are responsible of policy making, establishing law and order and deliver justice.
With these thoughts working on my mind, I bumped into ‘She Creates Change’ and ‘Political Shakthi’. I started volunteering in different campaigns that’s working towards maximising women’s participation in direct politics. My involvement with Political Shakthi gave me an opportunity to hear few women political leaders. That cleared my doubts and insecurities, increased my conviction to be part of politics – be it political activism or participating in electoral politics. So, when there is an intention, one also keeps getting opportunities of different paths. And one such path is “Democracy Express”.
When I applied, my main intention was
- To understand if there is a space for common women who come from non-political background to lead Indian Politics.
- Is there any space to do politics with principles without compromising one’s integrity?
- Can I gain enough confidence and feel safe to contest electoral politics, if I make a decision. The most threatening reason for women not entering politics is the character assassination (as there are enough examples of women politicians facing this when they stand against powerful men)
Ups and downs during Democracy Express:
During the journey when I heard a male politician say “father guards and mother guides family” and a woman politician blames women for their misery; my hope and courage to see clean and safe political space was disappearing. The response like “Party’s decision comes first even if Women’s dignity and safety is at stake. These can be sacrificed for a higher cause (women’s safety is obviously not a higher cause for political parties)” left me sad, angry and sick. It was suffocating for me. But yes, there were also moments of hope and courage. When a woman didn’t stop when bombs exploded and continued her qualifying speech. When she didn't allow authorities to use her as a puppet and used her agency to express who she is and what she is capable of. When another woman leader gave up her comfortable life in Delhi and settled in a village in Bihar without any basic facilities to ensure social justice for the voiceless. All these gave me courage to get over my fear and committing myself to contest election, if there is a need. I will not give excuse of politics being a dirty space.
When male politicians made us aware of the current realities of party politics, it also reminded me that honesty is still alive in them. They are not bad people. They just compromised to survive in politics. One thing which was very distinct to me was when men in politics were sharing knowledge, practicality, money and masculinity power of politics, women in politics were sharing emotions, values, courage, love, equality, children, well being of marginalized communities. So, I am convinced and confident now that we (women) must participate in direct politics to bring that harmony and balance. We have to be creative and courageous. We have to contest election even though major political parties don’t give tickets to women to contest elections. We have to go beyond the party politics.
During the mid of the journey, at our dormitory when seven of us were just chatting and sharing our experiences from the days, each of them shared similar experiences of how hearing women politicians gave hope, energy and a little courage to be part of direct politics; our mutual energy dismantled our collective fear and made us one group, one community – The chest thumping feminist group who was willing to support each other, love and stand for each other. A new idea emerged in that new space, new environment. #BeingIndependentIsNewPolitics : We will contest election even though no party gives us ticket. We will contest as independent and challenge the patriarchy that exists in politics. Our politics will be of not to be in power, but to distribute power for equal access to education, health and wealth, the safety of everyone, conserving our forest and natural capital and many more.
